TAKE THE LEAP

I have learned so much in the last year and a half. I am growing and changing every day in my beliefs; I’m pushing myself to step outside the safety zone that I had previously created for myself. Sometimes, it’s only mildly uncomfortable, other times it’s downright terrifying. During the terrifying moments, when all of the reasons pop into my head for why I can’t and shouldn’t keep stepping out, I find myself slowly inching backwards to the safety and security I’ve always known. For me, it’s reminiscent of times when I was instructed to jump off the diving board at swimming lessons. For all intents and purposes, I couldn’t and still can’t swim, so jumping off the diving board into 12-foot depth water never had any appeal to me. Despite the little floaty noodle, the certified lifeguard instructor swimming below that was ready to grab me if something were to malfunction with the noodle that I currently had a death grip on, I could still drown. There are no guarantees in life. Things happen, accidents happen. I’d be much safer sitting in the chair by the side of the pool watching as other kids my own age learned how to swim. Hadn’t I learned that lesson that hard way, when I almost drowned as a youth at a family get together? My cousin had wanted to see how far she could go out into the middle of the pool before she couldn’t reach the bottom. She’d told me to stay back by the far wall on the shallow end while she tested her own limits. Not wanting to be left behind, I followed closely behind her. Before I knew it, I was on my tip toes and the water was getting higher and higher yet. Then it happened, the pool had a relatively steep drop off and I could no longer reach at all and I couldn’t get back to the top of the drop off. Frantically, I reached out and grabbed the only thing I could reach, which just so happened to be the cousin that I had been following all along. We both went down. It all happened so fast, and yet it seemed like slow motion at the same time. I remember flailing around doing my best to get above the water long enough to get my next breath of air before I was submerged again. I finally lost the battle and found myself at the bottom of the pool with the knowledge that I wasn’t going to be surfacing again. Out of nowhere, a pair of our older cousins swam down and pulled us up and out of that pool. Yet years later, there I was standing at the edge of the diving board noodle in hand, debating on whether I should leave the safety of the poolside or not. I remember pushing back the fear and making the jump. 

I’ve been feeling this same way so much lately. To jump off the diving board and start that life coaching business or stay in accounting watching others pursue the life of their dreams. I’m not going to lie, there are days when I reflect back on the safe route that I have taken career wise up to this point and I start to wonder why I’m pushing myself outside of that safety net. Isn’t that what TV shows, movies, a good paranormal romance novel, or video games are for? To be able to experience a wide array of scenarios, without having to put yourself physically and emotionally at risk? However, it doesn’t take long before I recall all of the things that have occurred in my life in the last couple of years and how I am no longer satisfied living my life in this safe secure area. I’ve caught glimpses of how fulfilling and amazing my life can be when I live it authentically. Then I ask myself the one question that we all ask ourselves, what are you going to regret more; putting yourself out there and trying to live the life of your dreams despite the possibility of failing, or always wondering what life could have been if you had tried to go for it? That my friends, is all that it takes for me to straighten my spine and take the step forward out of the security and into the unknown. I can live with the uncomfortableness of stepping outside my comfort zone, I can live with the absolute terror that sneaks up on me when I move a bit too quickly away from that comfort zone, but I refuse to live the rest of my life with the regret of wondering what if. What about you? 

Love,

Yara Rose