CHANGING THOUGHT PATTERNS

The world, as we have created, it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking. – Albert Einstein

I was talking to someone today about changing their thought patterns and the process of doing such. They pointed out how easy it all sounded, but that, in actuality, the process is much more difficult. I wholeheartedly agree that it is more difficult to practice this process than to talk about it. The conversation prompted me to write this post because I’m working on being authentic in all things. I talk about change a lot! It’s a common theme throughout all my posts because change is constant, and it’s essential for the kind of growth that I am advocating for. When people are drawn to my website, they are looking for a change of some sort in their life. From my experience, for things to change the way that we long for, we have to be willing to do internal work, and a lot of people are afraid to turn inward. Society as a whole has become accustomed to trying to fix our problems with external things. If it’s not buying a bigger house, car, etc., then it’s to flip on the television, computer, game console, etc. after a long day at work and to distract ourselves from our unhappiness with whatever form of entertainment works for us. In full transparency, I’ve had many instances in the last several years where I had to decide if I was going to continue watching the television or take the time to engage in an energy clearing session. Sometimes, that decision was harder than it should have been because it is too easy to check out for a bit than to be pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone continually. From someone that is routinely faced with this choice, though, I feel like the growth I make when I decide to pursue choice number 2 is worth it. Whether it would be worth it to you is something that only you can answer.

For those of you that are interested in changing your thought patterns, the process starts with first being aware of what our thoughts are and then being willing to challenge their validity. For example, let’s pretend that you’re the quiet one at the office. You don’t go out often, although you wish that you did, you just don’t have a lot of friends due to your introversion. The anxiety and fear that you get when you think about asking someone out for lunch eats you alive inside. A colleague from the office happens to stop by your desk and invite you to the group happy hour after work. Your thoughts immediately start flowing, “Absolutely not. I’ve had a busy week; I’m exhausted. I just want to go home and relax. Also, what prompted this invitation anyway? This person never talks to me, and all of a sudden, out of the blue, I’m invited to attend their weekly happy hour. It must be a pity invite; maybe they think it will ease their conscience or something. The last thing I want to do is accept a pity invitation to ease their conscience. I have better things to do with my time.”

Honestly, I know these seem a bit absurd, but this is precisely what the mind does! It’s following the programs that we’ve developed throughout the years with our belief systems. The mind wants to protect us, so it always gives us exactly what it thinks we need. In this case, it wants to protect us from the fear and anxiety that we’d experience if we attended the happy hour, so it’s giving us “valid” reasons for why we should reject this offer. Most of the time, we go through life completely unaware of the programs that are running our life, so noticing this mental chatter is the first step. Once you’ve noticed it, you can start to question the validity of the thoughts that you’ve been accepting as fact. In this case, are you that tired, or are you more scared of the event? Why wouldn’t the colleague ask you to attend? Everyone in the office knows they are invited and has shown up from time to time, and you’ve noticed that this particular colleague attends regularly. They also do seem like an amiable person that is always spreading positive feedback to their co-workers, isn’t it possible that they are just doing it to be kind and make sure that you feel included? Be aware that when you first start this process and can successfully counter a specific thought, like in this instance not being that tired counters the exhausted exception, the mind will have plenty more objections in its box to throw out there. It’s been doing this for a long time, so please do not get discouraged during this process. In this example, let’s say that you were working towards changing your beliefs, so instead of immediately saying “no,” you gave a noncommittal answer like “maybe.” Later you were able to analyze your thoughts and feelings and decided that deep down, you honestly do want to attend the happy hour. You’re just scared because it’s outside of your comfort zone and you’re not sure what it will be like. Now you’re faced with a choice; you can choose to stay in the safe and comfortable zone that you have created for yourself, or you can choose to take one small step outside of that zone and see what happens. Each time an opportunity comes up in our life, we can choose to do more of the same, or we can choose to step outside our comfort zone and see what happens. Each small successful step outside of our comfort zone can lead us to more opportunities.  Each time we choose to take that step and forego listening to established patterns in the mind, we are creating a foundation for a new pattern. You don’t have to make massive changes all at once in your life; you can start right where you are and choose to make one small step at a time or several leaps back to back. It all depends on how much and how fast you want to implement the changes in your life. We all have free will, we have choices that we make every single day that will lead us further or towards the life we most desire. Where are your choices leading you?

Change is inevitable. Growth is optional. - John C. Maxwell

Love,

Yara Rose