FINDING YOUR FAITH

I re-listened to my very first life coaching session to see if it could provide me some inspiration for my next podcast episode. What I realized instead was that I had come full circle in so many things. One of those is regarding my faith and my beliefs in a higher power/creator. If you follow my blogs or any of my social media accounts, you know that I've been speaking a lot about a higher power lately. I have found and feel confident in my relationship with the Creator of all that is. In my December 2017 first session with my life coach, my grandma told me that I needn't worry so much about my faith and finding that specific organization that I resonated with. As I've mentioned before, I was raised in a strict religion that had multiple rules that chafed me so much that attending weekly mass was the first thing to go when I started adulthood. There were so many times when my father would say that he'd pray for me to find my way. The thing is, I never lost my way from the Creator. I always believed that this higher being existed, I just didn't have my beliefs set in stone about a lot of things surrounding it. I am beyond grateful that I live in a time and place that is a bit more accepting of a kids' right to choose the path that is right for them vs. being required to follow, without question, the church's teachings like my parent's generation had to. I remember the considerable weight that came off my shoulders when my grandma told me that I didn't have to worry anymore about this issue. She said, "God is opening your heart so that you can become more a believer in him vs. dogma. For you, it's more about seeking the truth and finding God in your heart. That's all God wants, and I am helping you find this. You needn't try to force yourself into a predefined belief system. Your path to religion is, for sure, going to be different than your parents, but it doesn't mean that one is better than the other." I always struggled with believing in something that I couldn't see. I always compared myself to the doubting Thomas disciple. Who, even after seeing the deceased Jesus alive and risen from the dead, had difficulties believing. My grandma told me that God/Creator would come to me in a way that I could feel and resonate with, and when that happened, I would believe. I would no longer compare myself to Thomas. I don't know the exact moment that this happened, but I realized while journaling in July that I had come full circle. Somewhere, throughout this journey, I have found a version of spirituality that I believe in. I honor and value this faith beyond measure. No, I don't go to church. But that doesn't make me less of a believer. A fundamental issue that I'd always had in my childhood was why it was necessary to attend a mass to be close to God/Jesus. Didn't the Bible say that Jesus and God were in us and with us wherever we went? Hold up all the devoted churchgoers; I'm not saying that there are no benefits to going and celebrating your faith together in a community of believers. I'm merely pointing out that it's not a prerequisite to have faith. I speak to both Jesus and the Creator everywhere. They have gone on walks with me in my backyard, they have joined me in mediation and healing sessions throughout my home, and I feel their presence with me everywhere that I go. I have found peace in my relationship with them that I have never known before. Confidence, peace, and love from them that I cherish every day. I especially resonate with this quote from Jeremy Camp when speaking about the message in his movie, "When you put your trust in him, your full faith in him, that doesn't mean that your life isn't going to be hard sometimes. A lot of times you think, you'll give your life to Jesus, and it's going to be all good. No, it's not always going to be good. Life is hard. There are difficult situations, but He never said that you were not going to go through trials, He said I'll be with you through the trials. That is the difference and a big part of this film." I absolutely love my life. That doesn't mean that it's perfect, and that doesn't mean I don't have days where I question and agonize over things that are happening. But now, I know that when I am going through these tougher periods that I am not alone and never have to feel alone again. Just last week, I wrote on social media about a stressful morning that I'd been having. Once I released all of the anguish and emotions I'd been holding onto, I asked the Creator and my spiritual community for help. I felt their presence engulf me, much like a cooling balm rubbed on a burn wound. Even though I wasn't any closer to finding the answers I was looking for, I felt immensely better. I could see clearer and knew that I had been trying to focus too much on the big picture and anticipate too far in the future. If this journey has taught me anything, it's that we need to live in the present moment. I also felt peace in knowing they would be with me for each step of the way when the time came to make each of those decisions.  

I wanted to write this post today to give hope to all of those people that have yet to find faith in a higher purpose or are still struggling to see where they fit in period. Don't put excessive pressure on yourself to find a preexisting organization or societal norm to conform to. Honor yourself, and if that means blazing your own trail all the better. When you are ready and open your heart to your higher self, Creator, and the endless opportunities available, you'll start receiving little nudges or urges to do something that doesn't always seem logical. These are messages from your higher self and the Creator that are meant to guide you on your path to honoring your authentic self. It's been my experience that honoring these nudges/urges is way more important than fitting in ever was.

Love,

Yara Rose