MEDICAL LEAVE – REVELATION #1
You know what’s interesting about people’s perceptions regarding a medical leave of absence from work? They have this misconceived notion that because you are not at work, you must be on vacation having a great time, or at least, that is what some of my co-workers thought. To be honest, I didn’t have the slightest idea of what to expect for my time off. I had thought getting out of work for a little bit would magically heal/stop the migraines. However, I hadn’t understood the depth of the damage that I had caused to my brain. When you push your mind and body as far as it will go, it takes a very long time to heal, just like healing from a broken bone takes time. I spent the majority of my leave of absence sleeping, meeting with my therapist to develop better-coping methods, and my doctor to keep her up-to-date on my therapist appointments and medicine prescription dosages and side effects. Trust me, it’s really not as fun as it sounds 😉.
After my first week of being on a leave of absence, we did get some positive validation that this leave was going to be good for our family. Both my son’s teacher and my daughter’s daycare provider commented on how much happier and better-mannered my kids were that week. We thought this was interesting because we hadn’t deviated from the kid’s schedule at all. I still dropped them off each morning at the same time and they assumed that I was going to work. We didn’t know how to explain what was happening to them, so we just created the illusion that everything was normal. However, the leave provided a release from the stress that I had been under for so long. Because I didn’t have that stress and anxiety about how I was going to accomplish everything each day when my head hurt so bad it felt like it was going to explode, the atmosphere at our home had already changed. It was remarkable and disheartening to me at the same time. I had no idea I had caused so much turmoil for them for so long, but I was glad they were already bouncing back. It was a validation for me that even though I hated having to take this break, it was the best thing for me and my family.
Being required to take this medical leave of absence forced me to reflect on my life. I have always put my family first, yet somewhere along the way, I had stopped doing that. I let my work life create a toxic environment for my family. I had missed important, once-in-a-lifetime events because I had to work. At one point, I had even debated on “treating” the kids to an extra water park hotel stay to try to make up for working so much. I had the extra money with the new job classification. However, I recognized that as a pattern of buying the kid’s love and chose not to go down that road. The urge had been strong though, and it was a battle to talk myself out of it. Thankfully, I hadn’t because that same weekend I ended up working and would have had to cancel the plans anyway. I am glad I wasn’t that parent. But I also was very disappointed with the parent that I had become and I decided right then and there that I was not going to be that parent again. This was a hard reality check. I knew that I was not going to stay working for a company that didn’t hold family values at the top of its list. My family’s health and my personal well-being are more important than any high salary offered by any company. This was the first of many revelations that occurred during my medical leave. My hope is that by sharing this experience with you, you can also learn from my mistake. We all have bills to pay, but there are always other jobs. If you are currently working for an employer that doesn’t hold the same basic values, then keep your eyes open. There is not a high enough dollar value in the world that is worth compromising your personal values.
Love,
Yara Rose